just when i found the perfect internet site that will give me updates daily about my beautiful werewolf, jacob, **break** (let me just describe it)
it's the most comprehensive and religiously sustained website of taylor lautner. everyday, there's a good enough amount of information that you would pick up from the posts. there's always something new, not to mention a very decent collection of nicely pixelated hot shots in a gallery, videos and all those downloadable memorabilia-- everything that a fan person would need to smile and fall off her seat each time she checks the site. it has all those polls, links to other galleries, get-to-know boards for taylor fans-- it's very interactive.
**continued** the site owner/maker/ultimate maintenance person decides to shut it down. :( it has been around for 6 months and she couldn't go on with the project because she has other websites to maintain. (go ahead read the post)
i'm being melodramatic and disturbingly overly reactive about this but i'm still gonna say it. it's like turning your back on taylor lautner. but thats not even the point; it's that abandoning something/ giving up something is super HAAAAAARRRRD but happens in like 2 seconds, when you say, "buh-bye". maybe for the owner of the site, it's just like one of the many sites that she made but for wide-eyed viewers like me, it's the appreciation and effort that comes with it. apparently, i am the "not ready" to let go, in this scene.
i think i have issues with giving up things, abandoning, forgetting things that are important to me, but the most painful, losing interest with something you once greatly worshipped and just faded over time. the first three, you decide when it's time to get it over and done with but the last just spells out a big "NOT YET" with it. the difference is, you can't control the fading. even if you wanted to embrace the thing, the person a little longer, it just doesn't work that way; you will eventually just wanna sigh and let it be. i once loved harry potter sooo much i'd kill for a good seat in the movie house to see it, or a replica of a wand-- the story was amazingly eccentric when i was young that i coudn't stop being a hyperactive wacko for it. but as i grew up, i found it a bit too so-so (for lack of a better term-- taken from sir weevens). it grew too much on me as a kid that when i grew up, i really didn't know what it meant. i never wanted to not like it anymore, in fact i wanted to be a fan forever and keep it with me always. i look at my collection of HP things-- stickers, postcards, magazines, clipped newspaper bits etc. everytime i felt like losing my zest but it just kept on slipping away. and it was sad.
and harry potter was just one of those things, bands are more painful to abandon. because along with my genuine liking of the band comes my love for their music as well. this is also the reason why i never ever used my REPEAT option in my ipod; i feel like if i listen to a song i really really like over and over again, i will eventually let it go because i have worn it out in my head. sooner or later i don't wanna listen to it anymore. if i must mention some, i love my chemical romance (we even went to their concert here), incubus, panic! at the disco and more but not as much as i loved them once upon a time (independently). to say it again and directly, i don't like the idea of losing interest but i couldn't control it so.. if there's anything positive about losing interest, it's losing interest only to a certain extent. let me explain. the signs of declining interest/ slowly turning my back on a band travels from one by one deleting their photos (i use as wallpapers on my desktop) from my phone and computer to removing their songs on my itunes and ipod. it's not like i wouldn't have access with those again (hello limewire and flickr), but it's still heartbreaking.
in other words, IT'S FALLING OUT OF LOVE (interest), the most painful dance of desperately grappling something that you know is slipping. you don't want to give it up but you just can't not give it up. :s
i don't want to think that the maker of the taylorlautnerdaily.com fell out of love with taylor. i'd like to think she's just busy, like she said.
i know i don't wanna. :\
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