let's talk chris tiu

i don't know i think i just miss him. i didn't have this conscious crush on him until now. maybe i had it before i just didn't think it was there. *something. i'm babbling crazy language again. sheesh.

anyway, i dreamt of him last night and it was weird. here's the vignette, at least from what i have considered not exaggerating of the things i actually remembered this morning:

he was standing in front of a house. i'm not sure if that's his house or mine. it was familiar yet i don't recognize some of the rooms and arrangements. he was just staring up at the house. i went near him, stuck my face in front of his (sort of like a "surprise!" type) and i said, "CHRIS TIU, I MISS YOU." then i forced a smile and entered the house. my little sister was in the house, playing the guitar (i think), browsing a music booklet for chords i guess and i just hung around. before i knew it, he was in the house too and stayed in another room. after a while we were all in the same room and he opened closet doors to reveal a collection of music booklets-- kinda like the one i have in the province. weird. really weird.

it was relatively clearer than most of my dreams. in fact when i woke up today i said, "something happened, it's like i went somewhere." then i remembered the dream.
what's with him?
what's with me?

storm? check!

yeah the storm has abated. that line has been stuck in my head since i finished my chemistry exams wednesday. technically that wasn't the end of it because i had to take the perso final exams. i should have been exempted but i lacked 0.5 til the cutoff. bummer but what gives? and more importantly, who cares? *i should but nevermind that.

anyway, i'm off to the province sunday. my parents already booked me a flight even before i started reviewing for the finals. sheesh. hopefully, there, i get decent sleep and merciless dancing and playing hours. oh yeah. that'll be the day. sweetness. can't wait to meet my friends and to be in zambales for the holy week. and just be frekken free. FREEDOM!

BIG BUT though, i still have 2 more errands: one, the paper for english and i'm swearing that paper by the way. i hate it! and two, my presentation in nstp-- i need this one as a make up for one cut. tssss. anyway, i've finished it, LOOK:



so far, that's it for the sem. i hope. summer classes will be starting before i notice it but heck, i've already been in hell have i not? i can climb back up. so lay it on me, B*TCHES!

so much to tell, so little time.

i'll write about it soon. but for now...

things i (insert appropriate verb) this week:


1. finals week officially ended. but i have a fucking english paper to pass and a fucking nstp presentation to work on.
2. met jhoon and introduced yz.
3. meeting him again tomorrow for eh something.
4. i met kirk long yesterday. but yeaaah so?
5. dreamt of chris tiu. hmm.
6. must kill yz. pain in the ass.

fire torpedos!

1:30 am. finals week. what the hell am i reading?
clue: blurrrrrrrrrrrr. rrr.

aw kam onn!

an F again.
big whoop.
and i'm supposed to pass this?
fuck.
i feel the second-rate review and mediocre luvin' in my guts flowing out o' my pores and burning my skin like stomach acid on corndog bits.
not soothing. painful.
not funny. disgusting.
fuck.
hit me again. with a bat this time. maybe then i'll feel it.
sucks.







oogtsshh oogtsshh oogtsshh
oogtsshh oogtsshh oogtsshh
oogtsshh oogtsshh oogtsshh
sooner or later it all comes crashing down. crashing down.
sniff.

pursuit of happyness

damn this movie to hell.
i mean it's so fucking sad it's soooo good and meaningful.
grr. i don't know what to feel anymore.
it pierces so deeply.

here i am whining about chemistry while will smith goddam kills himself scrambling for cents, sleep and respect from other people and his son. damn.

i love this movie. :)quotables:

1. You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

2. It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

to you.

you lived to perform. you were phenomenal. exceptional. irreplaceable.
goodbye though.
i don't know much about you but i know enough.
thank you.
be happy. be free.
i will miss you. i will remember you.



related topics:

EHEADS CONCERT1: ely's mom dies.
EHEADS CONCERT2: ely's friend dies.

maybe that's why this is the final set.