masaket ang ulo ko.

kala ko di na matatapos itong araw na to. langya, napakamalas. yung tipong puro tres ang nakukuha mo sa baraha at walang mga alas o dos. (pusoy dos) ay nako.

pumasok ako sa PE class limang minutong nahuli pa. alas siyete ng umaga. antok pa ako nun kaya hindi ako makapag-ayos ng galaw. nahuhuli, nauuna sa mga sipa at suntok. hindi naman napapansin ng guro ko.

dala dala ko sa aking backpack ang aking laptop. balot na balot at may kumot pa. mahirap nang maibalibag ko ito e. hindi ako makapasok sa internet connection sa library at kahit saan sa ateneo. kaya nagpabigat lang sa aking bag ang aking computer.

nang mainis na ako, hinayaan ko na lang at nagpunta na lang ako sa susunod at huli kong klase (zoology). pagkarating ko sa silid puchas tang*** naman o, nakasalpak sa pisara ang malaking

Dr. Monotillia Bi 12- General Botany 10:30-12 free cut.

ay oo nga, free cut. mga two years ko lang naman kasing pinag-aaralan yung dapat naming quiz. masakit man ang loob ko, hinayaan ko na lang muna. dumiretso ako sa library para makuha ko ang isang kailangan kong libro. pag dating ko doon, sandali lang a. inaantok ako, tatapusin ko to mamaya.

resume resume resume resume resume resume resume resume resume XD


wala ang ate sa photocopy center, lunch break daw. hay. kinailangan ko siyang hintayin ng isa't kalahating oras sa nakakabinging katahimikan. at may babasahin pa akong apatnapu't dalawang pahina. hindi pa diyan natapos ang araw ko.


mayroon pa akong mga tatlong oras na hihintayin bago ang book launch ni sir yapan. hay. gusto ko sumama sa eastwood pero bukod sa umuulan at nakakairita lang talaga, at dala ko ang aking mabigat na laptop sa likod ko, tinatamad ako. kaya nanood nalang ako ng cartoons dito sa laptop. masaya naman at magandang pamapalipas oras.

tapos ayun, book launch na. tapos bigalang may kudeta! wow, tingnan mo nga naman ang pagkakataon. at natapos na ang book launch yada yada yada.

uuwi na dapat ako sabi ng ate ko susunduin niya na lang daw ako. (yesss!!) pero hindi niya nabanggit na susunduin niya ako pagkatapos ng limang taon at apat na buwan. kaya nang ako ay mainip, sinubukan kong magwithdraw ng pera dahil gusto ko ng "RUBIX CUBE" at ng bagong earphones at ng blank dvds.

pero puchas naka apat na akong nasubukang teller walang gumagana! masakit na likod ko sa kalalakad sa katipunan dahil sa dala ko. nang makakuha na ako ng kwarta (XD) malayo na ako sa national book store na bibilhan ko sana ng rubix cube. at ayaw ko nang lumakad.

kaya naupo ako sa isang karinderya sa ilalim ng overpass. pero yun nga, customers lang ang makakaupo dun. kaya, kinailangan ko pang mag-order ng kung anuman. hay.

at dumating na si ate at sa national book store daw siya nakapark! tae! kaya, napalakad na lang din ako ulit.

pagdating ko sa bahay. bagsak agad sa kama.

mrt sessions

oops, photoshoot muna. bwahahaha
Day 1: Walang narecord. Mali yung guide track.
NP techies.
BAMMERS: Ang dakiling bokalista
LOB: Ang dakilang bahista
Goof off!!! Break time!!
JEFFREY: Ang dakilang drummer
SPACEMAN (Norman): Ang dakilang leadista
MRT sessions



so. yeah. right. no parking's (it's a band. band. band.) been recording mrt (no parking's newest single) for the longest time now. say uh, 7 non-consecutive days and well, nine years. haha. *kidding. anyway, the house is well decorated with a whopping drum set, three guitars, two amplifiers and some karaoke shit (i'm not sure about the last one). drop in a couple of drum sticks and a lot lot lot of cords! yeah, if those were snakes, well you know what's next. the sessions are great.

they're almost done. (or not. haha) the house is a mess, uh my macbook's thrashed, and i'm on an LSS for more than two weeks now of the same song. great. but nonetheless, i like the atmosphere of music in this house. yeah, it's almost really deafening when ate and i review. there's nothing to hear.

moving on, here's your preview of the song. it's really good.

MRT

J. F. Y. Belotindos,
music. A. A. A. Alegre / J. F. Y. Belotindos, lyrics.
No Parking, arrangements.
Finished: 20 December 2005.
Edited: 14 January 2007,
14 November 2007.

I.

I think I'll pay a hundred bucks to let them fool me that a card with a hole is the ticket to my dreams.

II.

And it's not okay 'cause every time I try to break the routine, don't know where to begin, and I don't even know where I'm going.

PRE-CHORUS.

Same directions, and destinations; but tonight I will depart here.

CHORUS.

This train won't take me anywhere, only to circles that won't end. It pulls me down to where I'm seated and sends me back to where I started. This train can take me anywhere to all those places I don't care. 'Cause when you're here seated beside me, I know that you can take me everywhere, anyway.

INTERLUDE.

III.

Then you came in your plainest of jeans and the color of green that matches your skin and I know… I have seen you

IV.

everyday; but today's not the same 'cause you're walking with him and you're talking to him. Well, you know each other well.

PRE-CHORUS ii.

A new direction, and uncharted regions; you took my reasons to ride here.

CHORUS.

BRIDGE.

But it’s cold and I wish to hold you but I won’t; for your arms and your heart, they all have a different home. And I know I don't have the luxury of time. In a while, we'll be approaching all the lights of Ayala Station. It’s goodbye.

AD-LIB.
CODA.

We're stations away; but the bliss that you bring when you're boarding this train is more than the pain that I feel when I see you… a stranger again, again and again, again and again and again in this train.

dicta license. dicta li. dicta. dic. d.

they disbanded. october 13th this year. last dance was i think in 19east.
yeah, it happens. good bands disband. to name a few, there's eraserheads, the previous rivermaya, (with bamboo and nathan in it), the beatles, bla bla bla. and the rest. (urgh, how rude) and dicta license!! god, i almost forgot.

when i saw "ang ating araw" on a music channel, (okay, it's mtv. fine fine.) i said, "goddam, another one of those idiotic bands imitating bamboo." yeah, i called them idiots. i never even opened my ears to them, hell. but when no one bothered to shift channels, and sisikat nang muli ang ating araw kept on playing, i was finally able to hear it. hear what? the passion, the difference, the music. the really good music. so i was, "whoah, i stand corrected. who are these people?"

i went to manila for some break in school i think and went to get a couple of music cds from the store. (okay, it's the record bar, god! gotta stop doing that. haha) so there. my mom said i could get just three. (yeah, she didn't believe in buying original cds for 300 bucks) so i got two cds i really like and i really listed. then i was standing between parokya ni edgar's new cd and dicta license's paghilom. so i was like a kid deciding over candy: lollipop or gum? my sister's already pissed. we've been there for an hour already. she was like, "pick one already, dammit."

so i picked parokya ni edgar. wow. but i couldn't get that weird album cover of dicta license outta my head. so when we were at the cashier, i got the parokya cd and ran back to the record bar and changed it for paghilom.

and so began the epic of dicta license.

the first time i saw dicta license was during my college freshmen orientation night. yeah, the o-night. they said great bands will come, so i was like, "what the hell? you sure? when do i get home? (haha)" after that, there they were, yeah, poch, kel, boogs and bryan. i invited some blockmates to go and watch them but they were, "dicta who??" so i went alone, squeezed my way to the front and before i knew it, i WAS in the front row. cool.

that was the first and last time i saw them perform. sad but yeah. that was it. they disbanded even before i could get my cd signed, or even before i could take a photo with them. but i think the music of dicta license shall live in me and for everyone who valued them for that matter.

p.s. dicta license taught me how to get license's spelling right. god, i always interchange c's and s' in it. haha.

jeep!! part 2

i ride jeepneys 4-5 times a day every weekdays. each ride takes about 15-20 minutes. and in those 15-20 minutes, i see a lot of stuff, observe a lot of behaviors (even freaked out by some) and wonder over a lot of ideas. let me tell you some.

what i see:

> people who eat corncobs and balot along the way.
> people who sleep in other people's shoulders.
> the most modest of all the modest people. (para po, sa tabi lang po, bayad po, pasuyo na lang po, overpass po, salamat po)
> kids who clean shoes and ask for money.
> awfully painted jeeps. (dragonball z, looney toons, jumong!!, disney, robin padilla!!, coca cola, philippine sights)
> almost 5-6 people who hang by the opening of the jeep.
> people who rush homework.
> people who talk really loud.
> "mga konduktor" with calculators.

what i am puzzled with:

> if i don't pay, will the driver notice?
> why do some drivers have "kunduktor" and some don't?
> do the people who hang by the opening pay fare?
> how many jeeps are there in manila?
> if the conductor's a kid, does he dream of becoming a driver too?
> why are senior citizens' and students' fare cheaper?
> can i take a picture of myself in a jeep without being noticed?
> is it better to ride in the wee wee back or in the front near the driver?
>if i ride at the wee wee back, i have to shout out where i am going and it's a waste of energy. but if i sit near the driver, i'm gonna have a hard time getting out because the people are all clogged up.
> does a holdaper have to pay fare before he hold people up?
> may i use my laptop in a jeep?

there are a lot more. i've been in jeeps for about a whole sem and a quarter now. i have my thoughts filled everytime. :D

ang tai chi ay sakit ng katawan

may dalawampung minuto pa akong puwang bago ang susunod kong klase. kaya naisipan kong sumulat muna. tai chi ang napili kong PE sa semestreng ito. oo, nakakabaliw isipin. mukha siyang sayaw pero sa totoo, martial art pala siya. at oo, mabagal at nakakangawit ang mga galaw kaya ngayon ay masakit lahat ng binti at galamay ko. nakakaapat na yata akong sesyon sa tai chi at hanggang ngayon medyo masakit pa rin sa ulo ang pagsasaulo ng mga di maunawaang hen chai choi at kong lai sei. idagdag mo pa doon ang madugong pagkakasunud-sunod ng mga galaw. oo, mahirap palang isabay ang kamay sa paa.

wala pang pormal na mga grado. wala pa akong nakikitang batayan ng kanyang pagbibigay ng marka. hindi ko na inaasahang makakakuha ako ng alas dito pero 'yon nga, kelangang magsikap. sa likod ng lahat ng pawis at sakit ng katawan, nasisiyahan ako sa tai chi. sana masiyahan pa ako lalo sa marka ko rito.

rockstars

ROCKSTARS are possibly...

the only people who refuse to grow up.
the only people who get away with an unpaid bill through an autograph
the only people who can dress like shit but could still look really good
the only people who carry guitars but never look stupid
the only people who are free enough to actually wear (or not wear) whatever they want
the only people who could get out of their houses without any money and still get back home
the only people so immune to cameras that it has become a minute object

the only people who think music is to be eaten, breathed, slept at

the most idealistic and creative people in the society
the faces you see on tv more often than election candidates
the only people who don't see the concept of competition as a bad ting
the only people without a boring muscle in their bodies
the only people who does only leisure but make eyes pop, jaws drop, lung give out, and a lot more crazy stuff.

wanna be a rockstar? dream on.

zzzzzz

i have the great tendency sometimes when i'm bored to think of random things but never actually remember them after a long while. they are all somehow connected to one another. these thoughts are mostly things or people i miss; most of the time "MUSIC", people in the music industry, ya know bands, cute drummers and vocalists. (yeah, i'm a day dreamer; keeps me in touch with reality) more often than not though, my friends pop out of my head. i know i throw out mean stuff about them verbally but really i miss them a lot. excitement fills me everytime we are to meet with each other, which i think is just normal. what do ya think?

when i'm bored, there are always some stuff to occupy my mind. when i'm not texting, i am tuned into a tv program, reading a book, listening to my ipod, or just lying around. boredom is when you find silence deafening. it's when you find yourself overly possessed by laze that it is somehow inappropriate anymore.

for me, if you got nothing great to do, think. think of things you didn't get chances to do. yeah, i know it sounds stupid and you'd rather sleep than that but it makes a lot of sense. thinking makes you uh, uhm, i'm not sure yet, possibly it would give you a little peace of mind, like a sound soul. you know, counting lizards in the ceiling keeps your mind updated with numbers. haha. the tv's great too but i hear it makes you stupid but i don't actually believe that because quite frankly, i learned an awful a lot from it. but you know what, i have a better idea, the greatest thing to clear your mind out of boredom and all the silly things, is to catch some zzzzz. yeah, travel to slumberland. i have 99% that you will agree with me.

tapos na ang delubyo

oo. tapos na nga. sa wakas. ang madugong finals.

nakaranas na ba kayo ng pakiramdam na ang dami mong inaral tapos pag dating sa exam parang di mo maisip kung paano iuugnay yung mga inaral mo dun sa mga mahahabang tanong?

uhm, ganun naramdaman ko. naisip ko tuloy, sinasadya kaya ng mga guro namin na pahirapan kami? o magturo ng ibang aralin na ibang iba sa binibigay sa exam?

siguro nga. o siguro imahinasyon ko lang. (sana)

pero sa totoo lang, di ko na masyadong iisipin ang finals. masakit sa ulo. masakit sa sabaw ko nang utak.

kulang na nga lang lagyan ko na ng mami ang sabaw sa ulo ko e.

bweno bibigyan ko ng mahabang break yang utak ko para mabuo muna. haha. sembreak, nanjan na ko. goodbye for now, ateneo. manigas ka jan. hirap hirap mong arukin. tse!

pag atenista ka at nasa UP ka

maraming nagtatanong sa akin kung bakit minsan ang gamit kong id strap ay kulay maroon at nakasulat ang "UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES" pero may nakakabit na malaking button pin na bughaw at may nakasulat na "I HEART ATENEO" at kung minsan nama'y id strap na bughaw na may nakasulat na "ATENEO DE MANILA UNIVERSITY" ngunit may pin na pula at may nakasulat, "DUGONG PEYUPS". ang madalas kong sagot ay, "walang rason, pangarap ko kasi mag-aral sa UP." siya nga ba? yun ba talaga yun?

may mga wirdo akong mga karanasan sa loob ng UP campus na talagang nakakatuwa lang nga naman. heto ang ilan.

1. noong UPCAT, sobrang traffic at nagkakandawalaan na ang mga mag-eexam. ako nama'y naglalakad at naghahanap ng masasakyan papuntang katipunan. siguro'y di ang lima ang nagtanong sa akin ng mga building na pagkukuhanan ng exam gayong pagkalaki laki naman ng mga banners. may isang nasa kotse t tumigil sa tabi ko.

bata: ate?

leki: (napatingin) baket?

bata: (tumingin sa id strap kong ateneo de manila university at tinanong sa nanay niya na nagmamaneho, "ma, tanungin ko pa ba?")

nanay: (tumango lamang) sige na lang. (nagbabaksakaling mali lamang ang nabili kong id strap)

bata: saan po yung bocobo hall? (at umiling pa ng kaunti)

leki: (nasiyahan ako dahil alam ko yun! at nasa isip ko, "ayus, good samaritan na ako". ang problema di ko lam papunta doon kung galing doon sa kinatatayuan ko. "patay!" kaya, nag-isip ng mabilis) ahh yun ba? dumeretso lang kayo at may makikita na kayong, uhh, (sasabihin ko sana malaking banner ng bocobo hall pero...) information booth. (toink!) (sorry naman, yun lang sigurado ko e. alangan namang ligawin ko yung nagtatanong di ba?)

pero oo medyo kabisado ko na kung paano gumalaw sa UP. basta sumakay ka lang ng ikot kung di mo na alam kung san yung punta mo. pag wala ka nang choice at di mo pa rin alam, mag-taxi ka na.

2. noong unang linggo ng pasukan noong hunyo. unang araw, ayus binababa pa ako sa "central" at yun lang yung kabisado kong lugar pauwi. pangalawang araw, ang saya ganun pa rin. ang dali palang umuwi e. sisiw. pangatlong araw, binaba ako sa ROMVLO HALL lang. pakingsssshhh...!! asan na 'ko?? dahil ayoko pang magjeep dahil baka kung san ako mapadpad na lupain kaya ako'y naglakad ng naglakad. san na kaya yung central? anak ng tinapa,pano na to? naglakad ako, nadaanan ko,

a. vinzons- ayus alam ko to, katapat ng sungken garden. pag di ko na kaya, papasundo ako ke ate.

b. palma hall (AS)- uy, narinig ko na rin tong lugar na ito a. okey, pwede rin dito.

c. kakahuyan- potek naman o, asan na ba ako? baket may gubat dito?? lang ya, sige lakad na nga lang ulit.

d. obleng hubad- uy wow, history in the making. perstaym ko makita ng malapitan ang obleng hubad. (di ko tinitigan ng matagal, pangako. :p malayo pa lalakarin ko no)

e. abelardo- uy music! ayus. sigurado na ko, madami akong naririnig na himig e.

f. plaridel (mascom)- naaalala ko to a! dito si ate dati! nung graduation nila, pumunta kami dito, ang init! ayus malapit na ata ako. di pa ko nawawala. yes!

g. central! sa wakas, di ak nawala! linakad ko lahat ng hindi tinatawagang luhaan ang ate ko. yes! dapat purihin niya ko nito!

kaya nakauwi na ako sa bahay nang dalawang oras makalipas ang dapat na oras. napakasaya kong binalita sa ate ko na di ako nawala sa UP at nilibot ko pa ito. sight seeing baga. sinabi ko rin sakanya ang naging ruta ko. at eto lang nasabi niya.

"wow, toki ka na pala ngayon. sana bumuhat ka ng dalawang tao tapos nagpabayad ng dos bawat isa. dapat inikot mo siya pabalik, kalahati pa ata dapat ang natipid mong oras." samakatuwid kung lumiko ako sa kanan nu ng nasa romvlo hall ako ay mas maikli ang aking nilakad. haaay. ganun talaga e.

3. ngayo'y marunong na ako. nakakapasok na ako sa SC at alam ko na kung saan mabilis ang internet at kung saan masarap ang ice cream. kaya nung minsang ako ay may gustong tapusing report, upo agad sa isang computer unit sabay salpak ng USB sa port. ayus! sabi ko sa sarili ko, bat ayaw lumabas nung "your device can perform faster"?? tapos tinapik ako nung katabi ko. "miss miss yung ano mo ata, yung ano..." nahuli kong tiningnan niya ang id strap kong ateneo de manila university. at biglang nag-iba, nag-inggles agad!

babae: "oh, miss i think this is my USB."

leki: (ano daw? e kasasaksak ko nito e. malamang akin tong USB) po?

babae: i think this is my USB. (tinuturo ang pinagsaksakan ko)

leki: (aaaahh USB port.. sorry naman) oops, sorry. my bad. sorry naistorbo kita.

babae: it's okay. your/you're bad.

leki: (ano daw? ako masama?) sorry ulit (nalang ang nasabi ko kahit di ko siya maintindihan. haha)

masaya ang isang silid pag walang guro

ngayon ay ang araw na hindi ko makikita ang aking guro sa english 10. pinaalam niya sa amin noong nakaraang pagkikita na siya ay liliban mula sa klase ng dalawang pagkikita at ngayon nga iyon, isang biyernes. sa pag-aakalang kolehiyo ang napasukan kong antas at paaralan, inisip kong, "ay, free cut ngayon. ayos, pwedeng mag-dota ng dalawang oras." ngunit akoy nagkamali sa aking hinalang free cut ngayon. para kaming high school students na may seatwork na pinagagawa ang huwarang gurong ayaw magpafree cut. ang mga gawain ay iniwan niya sa aming class beadle.

haay. ano pa nga ba? e di umupo na lamang at gumawa ng seatwork. maya maya't tumunog na ang bell na hudyat ng simula ng klase. nagsimula nang isulat ng aming beadle and aming gawain sa pisara. siya'y huminto nang mapuno niya ng sulat ang isang kapat ng pisara. ako'y nasiyahan ngunit nagtaka rin kung bakit yun lang at group work pa. ang kinalabasan, naubusan lang pala siya ng tisa at ang gawain ay talagang ang kabuuan ng pisara.

ang isang gawain ay nataunang "work with the people in your row" sa aming row, tatlo ang psycho (nasa kursong bs psychology) at isang kumukuha ng management. kaming tatlo ay nagtatawanan na sa walang matiyak na dahilan, naghahalakhakan nang wala pang natatapos habang ang isa naming kagrupo ay tila mahihimatay na sa takot at nagtataka na kung ano pa ang aming matatapos sa aming binigay na gawain. natauhan kami nang tumunog ang bell na tatlumpung minuto nalang pala ang nalalabi ay dismissal na. kami noo'y nagmamadali na sa aming mga sagot. hindi naman iyon masamang bagay dahil natapos naman namin. yey.

ang punto ay, masaya ang silid aralan pag walang guro. kahit isang kapat lang naitutuon sa paggawa ng naiwang seatwork, isang buong kasiyahan naman ang buong period. o ano patayin na natin lahat ng guro??

mga taong mahihirapang makpasok sa langit

ito ay isang listahan ng mga taong masama. (sa pananaw ko) naisipan kong dagdagan ang nasa listahan ni jessica zafra sa libro niyang "the 500 people you will meet in heaven". ang mga taong sumusunod ay pawang mga piksyon lamang. huwag silang tularan.makinig na't magsisimula na.

1. si erap. mabait siya (yata) pero hindi sa abot na hindi siya mas mabait sa sarili niya. dapat unahin muna niya ang kapakanan niya.

2. si gloria. di siya kumain ng gulay nung bata siya. masarap kaya ang gulay. at masustansiya.

3. ang sinungaling. kakainin ka ng monster sa ilalim ng kama mo.

4. ang magnanakaw. uubusin ng langgam ang iyong kamay para di ka na makahawak. hala ka.

5. ang tamad. pag umupo ka sa upuan, di ka na makakatayo at makakagalaw kasi daw tamad ka. beh!

6. si miss math (na nagsabing ang square root daw ng 4 ay 2 lang e dapat positive at negative two). mapuputulan siya ng mga daliri para di na siya makabilang o kaya magawa yung madayang technique na para sa multiplication.

7. si mister PE (na sabi e ang pagpapalaki daw ng katawan ay napakaimportante) siya ay magiging pandak. (ha, buti nga. hehe)

8. si miss english (na nagsabing, "who did not did their homework?") *ay, ang sarap batukan. siya ay kakahol na lamang na parang aso at di na makakasabi pa ng mga salita kasi baka tularan ng bata at mamali pa ang pananaw nila sa inggles.

9. ang gwardiya. (na di ka pinapasok dahil nawala mo ang ID mo) siya ay di makakapasok sa sarili niyang bahay dahil wala siyang ID na nagsasabing, "Totoy Marudo. Tatay. 37 taong gulang. #12 Mangga St. Barangay ng Topak, Quezon City." at nais niyang pagawa pero di pwede kasi brownout. (belat!)

10. ang cafeteria vendor (na inuna ang gwapong varsity player na tanungin kung anong gusto niya kaysa sayo na sampung minuto nang nakatayo sa harap niya) siya ay makukulong sa loob ng isang kwartong puno ng hyena. wala lang. masaya yun e.

11. ang taong ayaw umurong sa jeep nung may sasakay kasi ayaw niya ng masikip. siya ay maiipit ng dalawang pader hanggang magmukha siyang isang karakter sa "Happy tree friends".
12. and drayber ng jeep na ayaw huminto pag pumapara ka. (o di kaya bingi lang siya?) di rin siya pakikinggan ng mga sumasakay sa jeep niya pag tinatanong niya, "san ho to?"

13. ang drayber ng bus na bigla na lang humihinto sa gitna ng kalsada. basta nakakapangulo lang ng dugo. hmp.

14. si INDAY!!!! kung alam niyo yung "inday chain and story", maaasar kayo kay inday. gugustuhin niyong siya ay itulak sa rumaragasang tren. yey!

15. si rico blanco. kasi mayabang siya. sa kabilang buhay ay magiging kwerdas ng siya ng gitara at si steve vai ang gagamit para paiyakin siya. ha! (open for vox sign ups pa ba ang rivermaya?)

o yun. sorry, naubusan ako sa huli. hehe. singit lang si rico blanco jan. dagdag kayo kung may naiisip pa kayo. yey.

P.S. dapat mas madugo pa ang mangyayare sa mga taong yan e. kaso mabait na ko kunyare. haha.

please believe i'm good

i've been trying to think over the good deeds i have done in my childhood as i was walking across a foot bridge from ateneo to katipunan. (gate 2.5) i wanted to buy a pencil sharpener from national book store which was directly on the opposite side of the overpass. i have grown tired of my magic pencil because it keeps on getting dull everytime i use it. (well duh, that's what happens when you use a pencil. but then you sharpen it but in the case of a magic pencil your only choice is to change the lead and i refuse to! i could still use it! i mean, who does that?? ps: sorry i'm kinda peculiar. hehe) anyway, (snap out of the extra scribbles, leki! you have an experience to share, darn it!) here is the story:

there was this kid, who sort of walked with me along the whole overpass stretch and here's the catch, he talked.. a lot. "ate, ang ganda sa ateneo no?, ate san ka punta?, ate, penge namang coke." and TIRES SCREECHED, ttssshhh... what the?? i stared at the coke can in my hands which i bought like 2 minutes ago and which i have gone through only 1/4 of. then i went to look at the kid. he was, uh, small, and untidy and uh, small and well you get the picture. so anyway, i thought for about 15 seconds whether i'd give it to him or not since if i did i just wasted 20 bucks. and i said "no". (ooohh, harsh) no wait! i said, i will give half of it to him when i come out of the bookstore. but he just kept talking and walking with me, oh wait, running in his pace. "ate, saang bookstore? ate matagal ka dun? ate anong bibilhin mo? ate bigay mo ah." and in the back of my head i was like, "baket may iba pa bang bookstore sa tapat?, baket gusto mo ding hingin yung sharpener ko? yoko nga. iyo nalang yung magic pencil ko no. di ko bibigay yung sharpener" i felt like a kid debating with a kid. but then i got annoyed so i said, "fine it's yours". and he stopped right then and there.

there goes my one act of kindness for the day. (ARK. courtesy of evan almighty. watch it, it's good.) yey. claps for me. and back to my good deeds, turns out you wont actually remember every good deed you made in your life in fact you will remember more the bad ones! think about it, and you'll know i'm right. hehe

i miss journalism

really??

i have known myself quarterly as a writer. in elementary, i was the first fourth grader to publish articles in our school paper in like the last 20 years of that school organ. it started as an ordinary class paragraph. i can't remember why but it was about "dengue" (i know, weird) so there. i didn't even know they put it there. but that started my writing career. they began to send me to different writing contests. i didn't even know how to write a news story!! i was named EIC on my sixth year. (coooool) that same year i won my "national award" in a press conference. yey.

i continued writing in high school (because they forced me to. seriously) i started the freshman year with my article as the centerfold. (i know, creepy. i wasn't aware) i had my own column at sophomore year. it was called, "blah, that makes sense" and weirdly people read it. ha! it was about music, school blues, etc. i kept it alive till i graduated as again the EIC. i was supposed to win another national award in a presscon, but decided to give chances to others. (*kidding. hehe)

up to now, i receive messages from my high school friends saying, "leki, gawan mo naman ako ng poem, 5 stanzas about college ah!", or "lex, ano ang pinagkaiba ng allege sa accuse??" or "leki, gawa ka naman script para sa MC job ko, thanks!" and i'd be more than happy to help them because i do miss writing and seeing a great article in a school paper with my name on it as the writer. hmmm.

curses!

is it that bad to curse? it does make people feel better. well normal people at least. haha. it's weird because i seldom yell out my curses, not even to my sister who yells hers on top of her lungs most of the time, but i get a lot of that dose when i speak to myself especially when i flunk quizzes (not that this happens a lot. *snicker)and feel stupid about something. i guess i have gained the etiquette of cursing for other people, but to myself not yet.

it comes out naturally. it's fun. you should try it. cursing frees the soul from the repressed hardships and desires to punch a professor for giving you an F; it keeps my sanity in place and it balances your breathing after 5 seconds of yelling. (you'll inhale-exhale heavily. it's healthy. hehe)

so what do you say, scream out your curses to the world? and if anyone objects, yell some more but now try to direct the curses to that person's face. yey. i'm not a freak i swear.

college itself

it's funny that i only decided to write about this topic when i'm already almost halfway through the semester. maybe it's because i haven't found that great excitement the college people jump about all the time according to my observation. i haven't seen the knick of this stage or i haven't absorbed the culture of "more time, more monster professors and more school load" although the adapting process is slowly pacing up. or maybe it just sucks? i'm not sure yet.

nevertheless, there is not much i can do but mumble at the difficulty of a task or curse a professor because of a sucky test. these calm me down most of the time. haha. i've grown accustomed with people who walk, sulk in a corner and read alone, time schedules that are centuries away from each other (well not really, it's just an hyperbole, an exaggeration) and well, just naturally skull-breaking, brain-busting subjects. these, pretty much, are what shall stick to my mind of college so far.

they say, i'm just starting and hey, i coulldn't agree more. there are successes and failures and wherever i am, there is just a certain degree of acceptance that could make or break me. but really, i don't much give a damn.... yet.

am i a bad person?

if someone said that i hated typhoons and staying at home, someone lied. haha. it's been two and a half days that i haven't gone anywhere but the sala, my room and the bathroom of our house and no one is to blame really, so to speak. it's freakin' raining outside and i saw ateneo on tv, it was flooded or katipunan at least was.

i was rejoicing and telling a classmate once that i was happy that typhoons come and that we don't have classes when he replied, "uy, wag ka ngang ganyan, madaming magsasaka ang nawawalan ng pananim." so i was like "whoah, you really actually care about that, do you?" and i can't feel even sorry for them the moment i realized that yeah, my friend had a point. a very reasonable point that i never imagined thinking of. am i a bad person for liking the rain? or is it just because i like it's effects on me as a resident of a flooded region? maybe not, maybe so.

my messed up brain cells

have you ever had that thought that was in your mind for a long time and then when you finally had the guts to say it out loud, you get lost for words and ideas? ooofff. i hate it. it happens everytime in fil 11 and intact. i feel like i have to say something that might make my classmates think that i'm not mute! it's funny because when i get the right answers, those are the moments when i just blurt out in my seat a word or two.

like, "the union of a sperm and an egg cell is.."
then when everything is silent, it just comes out, "fertilization" from me who isn't even half attentive to what is going on in the class while the rest are all thinking really hard. but alas! i whisper my answer to my butt and someone of great urge to just yell something out hears me and snatches my time of glory from me. haha. so it would turn out that he/she had the answer in his mind.

i really don't have the urge to speak in class, especially in long phrases. i don't like explaining because i suck at it. the idea that is in my mind is what should be kept and nothing more or less. in the end, i think about a lot of stuff but when people ask me what the hell am i staring in space, i'd say, "ow, sorry. i just don't have anything to think about anymore that space fills the loss" yeah, me and my messed up brain cells.

jeep!!!

i saw two jeeps today that really caught my attention. wow, two.and how long have i been living in this universe? i mean really, this world, my world has got to be filled with these transportation vehicles and only two caught my attention? and only in a matter of what, 16 years? wow. what am i then, blind?

anyhow, i'm drifting away from the topic. here it is by the way. one is brightly painted with dragonball z figures, e.g. son gokou, trunks, piccolo, gohan etc. (wow, i'm really well-versed at this. would you like to know the show's time slot? haha. no seriously, back when i was like 9 years old, it was on GMA 7, 4:30- 5. i often yelled at my sundo for coming in late and i nearly missed the opening theme, "chala head chala" haha.. how childish can i get?) so anyway, there.

the next jeep was tainted pure black with a large picture of robin padilla endorsing an energy capsule i'm guessing. and so i thought, if i were a driver, which vehicle would i wanna drive considering aesthetics? yeah, i'm aware that they get paid to paint their jeepneys like that but the humiliation is intense! i mean, who would drive those?

i had this thought for like about an hour, my actual time gap from my house to school and i finally realized, "nobody freakin' cares!" i know i do but then a single mind couldn't speak that loud for itself so why bother? people actually use these vehicles for transportation and they need not care of what they look like, leki so just drop it.

and so i will. it doesn't matter what the print of a jeepney is, it's just there to loosen up the monotony and if you care more about looks, don't take jeeps, own a car. then you may satisfy the look that you have always dreamt of, ayt?

wowowee..

this must be only the second or maybe third time i've watched that show. they are always by accident because i don't actually enjoy those kinds of tv programs that much. so anyway, one was in a bus and technically i can't do anything about because well, it's a pulic vehicle. another was in a restaurant during one of my trips to tuguegarao and yeah, it's also public. and the third was just an hour ago or maybe two when our "kasambahay" was watching and i just got home from school. so there.

and every single time, the players are kids. and it catches my attention because a querry always pops in my mind. "is this guy just being nice on tv or is this really his attitude towards less fortunate people or is it because of the ULTRA tragedy? haha." because he's just too unreasonably nice and generous. i mean, even i don't like the kids who follow me around and say, "ate, kahit piso lang". most of the time, i just give to them a few pennies just so they'd leave me alone. that's one weird observation.

the next is the odd answers of the kids that play. like when asked, "ano gusto mo maging paglaki mo?" they'd say, "gusto ko po makatulong sa bansa at mapatalsik si, glo*ia (haha, how obvious)". another question is "ano gusto mo sabihin sa mga magulang mo?" they'd often say, "gusto ko po magpasalamat sa pag-aaruga at pagmamahal saken. sana po masuklian ko yun"

i know it's weird that i notice all of these stuff but really, i was just wondering why these kids, 7 years old probably, think of these things in this much of a mature way? i mean, haven't you ever wondered about that? well, if you haven't i have. and you should too. i conclude that they think like this because this is their environment and the violence and political rampages could possibly have triggered this behavior and might have caused their early maturity. i'd like to pitty them but no, i admire them because they are aware and unafraid of whatever comes. don't you?

music genre... bow

i'd like to believe that music and i have great chemistry, though i'm not sure how to prove it. yet. but to me, a day with my ipod stuck in my ears could almost be considered as a vacation. i don't know but there's something in it that keeps me addicted for a long period of time.

i don't believe in genre, in seeing music as a group because for example someone says, "i hate hiphop because i'm a rock person" and i'd be like, "suck it to yourself, who the hell cares??" that person can't just generalize that hiphop sucks because of bias, and that he prefers rock over it. hiphop is widely accepted in the world because some people do actually like it.

i tend to see myself as someone who thinks she has great music preferences when in fact variety matters and other people might find my music sucky while some wouldn't. what i'm trying to say is music is huge, has big branches and there are songs in different genre that you night like if you just look close enough so we are in no position to counter such genre that we claim we don't like, ayt?

wahh??

someone told me today that i was emotional. i know, it sucks. because i don't approve of course. he claims that i am because he read my blog entries. yeah, i tend to be gloomy and dreadful sometimes but never emotional, i hope. in fact i consider myself a really violent and sardonic person! and i don't like people who are too sentimental! it sucks the effing life outa me!

there is just one thought that's positive in this experience, though. it's that someone actually reads what i write which means someone's really interested in what i think. right?

so, thanks a bunch, pare/mare. hehe. you know who you are. i'll keep posting for you. xiao.

maybe i'm a loser, i just don't know it yet

it's also possible that i refuse to accept to myself that i, too, have failures. i guess it's bacause i don't actually take them seriously, in short, i fail and i let it go. it's the only thing you can do without hurting yourself so much. my shortcomings come so unexpectedly that the impact is just heavy. then again with this heavy impacts, they happen in short spans of time because let's face it, nothing better than forgetting could be done.

i learn from them, yes i do but i tend to stick to those mistakes sometimes. i'm not sure why. but i'm guessing that they just feel so good i can't let go of them. yeah, i know i'm weird. i'd like to be different, thank you.

if i got your head spinning at this moment, let me give ya an example. i have sucky studying habits.it is quite my hobby to first check out crappy things over the net, such as this before i even get to my researches, ya know, te actual reason why i was with internet access. haha. despite my mind screaming, "what the hell, man?? do your assignment!!", i continue my somewhat repressed desire to wander off my purpose.

well there, i hope you got the picture this time. ya know, it's not wrong to repeat mistakes, (yeah..right, hehe) actually it is. but i want to. just control it maybe. whatever.

life doesn't suck that much if you're dead

look, i'm not saying let's all jump from the 50th floor of a building so we'd attain death, ayt? and you better be just dreaming of entering that kind of building because from what my dad says, those are for rich people only. which is why i bet i'm gonna be the only one who could do it. haha.

oh, come on. don't think i'm the cruel type. i just like writing mean stuff. but generally, i can pretend as long as time can stretch to like people even when i don't. can you do that without yelling, "what the fuck am i with you for?? i can't even stand your face!!" wow, that would have felt great.. haha..

i'd like to belive that my life is just as happy as i could think it should be. what a great principle.. worship me!!!

err...

i'd like to start with my house.. oh wait my home. i used to live with my parents and pet and tob. now i pretty much live a life in manila with ate ys. what i miss most about my home was i think the billiard sessions every sunday. i never actually played much during those times, i was always busy i guess. but whenever i did though, i enjoyed it. i miss my room too, though it doesn't have much difference with the mess i have in my present bedroom. but of course, it is just so much wider than what i stay in now. i miss my guitar, at most, because it was really a companion, i remember trying to compose songs and recording using it but i never acutally did that seriously. hey man, i'm not a composer, i'm a writer.
yeah, sometimes, i really hated living there but i guess i cursed it so much that when the time came that i have to leave it, the feeling juct sucked.. well, yeah, i know.. i've been a jerk but now i kinda realized my flaw. when i get home, well, i get home. there would be nothing, i bet that could make that feeling any happier. bummer.

f**k!!

Test Your Brain
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST Count every " F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ? WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process "OF". Incredible or what? Go back and look again!! Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare. Send this to your friends. It will drive them crazy.! And keep them occupied For several minutes..!

More Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University . O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Psas Ti ON !

seasons (a poem or so i want to believe)

when the birds call out,

and the flowers all sprout,

you'll know spring's here,

the season you keep dear.

when the sun is smokin'

ya better be swimming,

coz this summer ain't long

soon you'll take off that thong.

remember when all is falling,

and orange leaves all drooping?

oh, i should have known,

autumn has just begun.

gloves and jackets are in fashion,

when winter season comes crashin'

snow and flakes gather on roofs,

time for fights, burrs and goofs.

what gives?

since this is a new blog, considering you don't know anything about me, i'd like to tell you something good/bad about me. yeah, it's corny, but it's a sign of formality. i take this blog seriously, ya know. or not. haha.

i am alexandra de los santos. people call me leki or alex. i am 16 but i'd like to belive that i am just 12. i am already in college but i feel like some trapped kiddy super warrior in ateneo, the school i go to currently.

i come from way way north, in cagayan valley. i am not so proud actually about it because i'm not sure what it did yet for the country. everytime somebody asks where i am from, this is always the scenario:

idiot (asking): where are you from?

me (hesitating): uh, luzon! yeah, in, uh, region 2. there.

idiot (intuitive): where there?

me (hesitating to hit idiot): in cagayan. there i said it.

idiot (just idiot): de oro?

me: valley! you moron! valley!

so there. so most of the time, they don't bother asking anymore. weeee.

anyway, i like music although i am not actually that inclined. i play a few instruments though. i also am a bathroom singer if that could be a possible affiliation for a musician.

other than the things i have mentioned, you'll just read on the things that i am in my next posts. keep reading, start reacting. i am open to criticisms just don't tell me where you live. ya know, temper problems. bwahahaha..