my fault. again.

my enlistment date: november 3. that was yesterday.

today: november 4. i'm still not enrolled.

it's my fault. i didn't check my hold order page in the aisis. i had one pala. i can't think of anything that could possibly cause me to be held for at the LIBRARY--- a book unreturned, a book lost, i don't know. but i am on hold. that's why i can't enlist online until i settle my hold order. i'm in tuguegarao so all i can do is call and call and call their always busy phone lines.

i talked a friend on going to ateneo to check on what my hold order was all about. pupunta daw siya. mamaya. if he manages to tell me what i have to do and if i manage to do whatever it is i have to, i could still enlist online within today under the 12:30- 5:30 slot. please. please. please. help god.

i don't like this. people carry hold orders and pressure without a worry but i am not like them. i don't like being aggrevated with things i don't freaking understand and things i know i shouldn't be worrying about at all. i was shocked yesterday. really really shocked. since i found out, i can't even look around without my eyes drooping, my heart has been racing two fold and i feel like crying. am i gonna fix this soon? this is a nightmare. help god. please something happen.

i feel like i have two dish-shaped tumors radiating in my knee caps. i haven't felt so stupid like this before. IT'S A FUCKING LIBRARY HOLD ORDER. I'LL PAY FOR ALL THE BOOKS I BORROWED AND FORGOT TO RETURN IF I HAVE TO. JUST DON'T MAKE ME COME TO MANILA YET. JUST LET ME STAY FOR THE AFTERNOON ONLINE ENLISTMENT TODAY. I LIKE STAYING HERE. I SEE MY MOM AND MY SIBLINGS. I HAVE NO WORRIES HERE UNTIL YOU CAME. BITCH.

please god.