my messed up brain cells

have you ever had that thought that was in your mind for a long time and then when you finally had the guts to say it out loud, you get lost for words and ideas? ooofff. i hate it. it happens everytime in fil 11 and intact. i feel like i have to say something that might make my classmates think that i'm not mute! it's funny because when i get the right answers, those are the moments when i just blurt out in my seat a word or two.

like, "the union of a sperm and an egg cell is.."
then when everything is silent, it just comes out, "fertilization" from me who isn't even half attentive to what is going on in the class while the rest are all thinking really hard. but alas! i whisper my answer to my butt and someone of great urge to just yell something out hears me and snatches my time of glory from me. haha. so it would turn out that he/she had the answer in his mind.

i really don't have the urge to speak in class, especially in long phrases. i don't like explaining because i suck at it. the idea that is in my mind is what should be kept and nothing more or less. in the end, i think about a lot of stuff but when people ask me what the hell am i staring in space, i'd say, "ow, sorry. i just don't have anything to think about anymore that space fills the loss" yeah, me and my messed up brain cells.