maybe i'm a loser, i just don't know it yet

it's also possible that i refuse to accept to myself that i, too, have failures. i guess it's bacause i don't actually take them seriously, in short, i fail and i let it go. it's the only thing you can do without hurting yourself so much. my shortcomings come so unexpectedly that the impact is just heavy. then again with this heavy impacts, they happen in short spans of time because let's face it, nothing better than forgetting could be done.

i learn from them, yes i do but i tend to stick to those mistakes sometimes. i'm not sure why. but i'm guessing that they just feel so good i can't let go of them. yeah, i know i'm weird. i'd like to be different, thank you.

if i got your head spinning at this moment, let me give ya an example. i have sucky studying habits.it is quite my hobby to first check out crappy things over the net, such as this before i even get to my researches, ya know, te actual reason why i was with internet access. haha. despite my mind screaming, "what the hell, man?? do your assignment!!", i continue my somewhat repressed desire to wander off my purpose.

well there, i hope you got the picture this time. ya know, it's not wrong to repeat mistakes, (yeah..right, hehe) actually it is. but i want to. just control it maybe. whatever.