when at the beginning of a long break, you plan your life around a bunch of books and reading, don't. it NEVER happens. but come to think of it, not planning it around that results to pretty much the same, nothing. you think about it but you think again and go the other way. it's such a playful sun-filled day, why waste it indoors? or why waste it being the boring nerd you have become for the past semester? sure. you have just become the greatest and bulkiest pillow among the rest lying on your bed when you made either decision. congratulations. there is no lesser evil. your only difference now (from your other pillows) is that you have the capacity to reach for and click the remote. more congratulations.
my time is ticking. and it's always the same thoughts. 1. gah, i wasted so much time. 2. but i had so much fun. 3. so much fun doing nothing? 4. i deserve it don't i? 5. did my classmates study during this break? and the list goes on. i'm probably going to class next week thinking that i should have regretted the lost time but maybe i don't regret it actually. but i will tell myself that when i get to school, i will not waste any more time. even then, i probably will still. *sigh.
wow.
i know myself too well. that's exactly what i would say. that's exactly what i would do. i remember asking the Lord to give me a focused mind, i remembered asking about 3million and a half times, but i'm not sure if i'm getting the package. sometimes i am pumped up to hit the books but sometimes, and when it's not absolutely necessary to be doing anything, the laze just creeps in.
bottom line is, this sem break has been sadly an unproductive one but it was basically all i dreamt of at the time when med school was killing me. so i still love how it treats me. for my last days, i will not rush myself into anything school-related but i do to get back soon. days like this are always great and i am definitely a fan of LAZY. :) peace.
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