today... (edited)

today i saw rico blanco. in sonya's garden in tagaytay. **i'm probably writing about this some other time when i get the photos up in my documents.**

he was with some chick. not so pretty. okay i wasn't able to get a good look at her but i would have noticed goddess beauty if she had it. forgivable i guess. rico doesn't look crazy gorgeous anyway.

speaking of rico blanco. let me tell you one or two things about what i think of him. or let me not. LET THIS. (WROTE IT SUPER AGES AGO. STILL TRUE FOR ME I GUESS. IT'S TRAPED IN A WORN OUT SONG THOUGH. yugto.)

p.s. tamaaaaad.

no one cares but i should. wrong spelling yung trapped ko. :D but like i said, no one cares, i'll leave it that way. :P

not aral-ing. watching cool movie.

recap. recap. recap.

1. i was this close to screaming (out of the frekken random) because our final set of items in psy testing can't get a decent reliability coefficient. luckily, we were able to fix it before the week ended and just yesterday, we already dropped the questionnaires for photocopies. score.

2. sanggu elections are ongoing. i did abstain. :P not a lot, just a few that i dont know of and felt like ignoring. i hope my friends win. vote.

3. i forgot to mention about UP fair last week. i guess i got busy this year that i really wasn't able to enjoy it. i went one night and thats it. i didnt even have a good camera. bullocks.

4. school school and more school. wow. it's probably the mentality that i have a lot of things to do even when i don't have a lot of things to do that eats me up. i try to chill sometimes but it just doesn't cool me down; my thoughts still run up and down what's written in my planner.

5. i lied. i don't have a planner. for some god-forsaken reason, there are no good looking ones this year. and i can't take not good looking ones. i tried making one or some, i couldn't follow through, it was tedious work. this is also one of the reasons why i forget many things. gah.

6. passed the psy evaluation report last monday. it was a bad idea to cram it but seeing as to a lot did also, i guess that's as good as a supposed one month paper is gonna get. i'm just hoping for the best.

7. ash wednesday day. i woke up late and decided not to stress myself and race the clock horribly to school. so i cut my 730 class which was the only one i had for that day. boy was i unproductive at home that day. urg. then when my sister came home from school, we caught the 6:15 pm ash wednesday mass in our village.

8. i need to sleep earlier and awake to my alarm because lately i

have been missing them or cancelling them unconsciously.9. i need to catch up on some readings. a lot of readings. oh and i have a quiz on tuesday in chem.
10. post lab. social psy report. final administration week.
11. and no classes on monday. woohoo.

my sisters and i went to see PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS: LIGHTNING THIEF. it was cool. like greek-mythology-never-sounded-this-interesting-ever-cool. this is where all my literature in high school comes to awesome. i like how the movie turned a really boring, ancient concept to a nice story. and thats the end of my thoughts for that movie. you know how i don't like to turn appreciatory comments for movies i like to movie review, oh no. i just like it.

logan lerman, the dude who played percy jackson looked cute. just cute. i remember the time i really liked zac efron. :) he looks a bit like him. see? he did okay. good job percy jackson.

on hearts and love

happy valentines losers.

wow. 19 years. nada. zilch. neverfrekkenmind.

i have a paper to write.

p.s. yesterday two people i know declared: nobody likes me, i will die alone.

damn ridiculous. i will dance on your graves if i find you leaving someone a widow/ widower. watch it.

i hurt

death doesn't make you feel numb like what the movies say. on the contrary, it makes you feel all the possible emotions and shitass feelings known to your body. it literally makes you feel like you just battled a thousand orcs. like spikes stabbed your chest. like sand rubbed your eyes. like gears twisted your stomach. your head spins. your nose runs. yet you know you want to feel happy for him who has gone. because in your mind, while he leaves you hanging in the mortal pain-ridden world with all those crappy feelings of grudge, hatred, constriction, he goes to "that" place. he is happy. he is at peace.

this weekend i went to my grandfather's funeral in zambales. he was the last male of the their YAP generation. i'm sure there are medical terms for how he died but in my book, he died because he bled and because he got wacked by a frekken ladder. it sounds crime-worthy and TV-like but it did happen like that. i've heard so many versions of the story that i don't even wanna know how it really happened anymore.

people he left: a wife. two boys. two daughters-in-law. four immediate grandkids. hundreds of other friends.

i'm not immediate but i feel awful about it. i was not that close to him. i only see him when we meet him at the church and when we gather during occasions. but he remembers my name. and that's the best of him. :) he remembers all of our names.

"mama is suffering from dementia. it's not easy for us." i saw lolo's family's pain. i saw them crying. i saw the difference of "mas maraming karamay" as opposed to only two of you crying. uncle francis and uncle cedric had the hardest time. their mom doesn't even remember who they are. :'(

i'm sorry.

now, i ask of you God, to give to them strength and peace. i need you to tell them that it will soon pass and lolo is in great hands.

to you, lolo, i miss you already. have fun. eat all the cake you want. :)

RIP Jacinto Yap

1926- 2010