freaking out!

okay so jhoon, you know the one i am currently going gaga over, kjwan's drummer. he uhm, sent a mass message that got in my facebook. and he typed LEKI. eekk! *schoolgirl scream* but i think he pretty much just added that detail to lure a jumbo effing barnacle head like me. it really doesn't mean that he knows me. he's kinda promoting this summer drum lessons. the thing is, i wanna do it and i don't wanna do it. and i can do it and i can't! what is the matter with me?? i'm thinking NO! cos i have long established to myself that i'm not a drum person more so a performing person. i'm just gonna make a fool of myself around him. :( but then i'm also thinking, SURE BY ALL MEANS! it's him inviting and it's my one in a million chance to actually know the frekken dude. why oh why do i have to think?more problems:

1. it frekken starts next effing week. - i went dude, i'm still trying to figure out how to start an essay that's due next month. how the hell am i supposed to be working on my banging skills and calculating for the concentration of stupid ___ in my chemistry manual (that's an exaggeration but you get the point). so i asked jhoon if he can extend or start late (like after march). i feel like he's considering but i can't really be sure. i'm just happy that he's very responsive and open to all my quirks.

2. i have summer school. period. it's gonna be a little harder than i thought. i have full units and that's not gonna help in my quest to learn the art of hitting the drums. but jhoon, being teh optimistic nice person that he is says that we can arrange my schedule. and that's why he's such a darling. :) the conversation went on and on and on. still i have made no sure choice. amazing.after his last reply, i asked, "do you have to be really good to go for more lessons?" hahahahah pathetic!!!

3. i can't play the drums. i'm wacked. the only thing i've done while coordinating my hands, arms and feet is swimming and i'm not even half that good at it. i do piano and guitars because i don't have to start dancing with more than my upper torso when i play them. compare that to drumming. i'm foreseeing that i can't hit the base drum while trying to keep the hi-hat closed and hitting a snare while smiling. in short, i am a huge piece of an uncoordinated cement bag that's better off handling the microphone in a band. yes?

4. i'm afraid of jhoon. well not afraid afraid but i'm too shy around him. i can barely breathe properly when i see him. i can't talk straight and i keep spacing out. how the effing cheese wiz am i supposed to be able to concentrate and actually learn if i wont be able to move when he's teaching?

because of all these problems that i am anticipating, no imagining possibly, i i decided to tell my sister and force her to do it. JUST SO I CAN SAY THAT I SUPPORTED JHOON AND HELPED HIM, IN THEORY.

i'm still fucking thinking though. maybe my shitloaded brain will function fairly better tomorrow.

TO BE CONTINUED...