go away!

urgh you're killing me.
i can't concentrate.
go away.
what's with you??
what's with me?

fuck this feeling.

new yorker in tondo

i am not in the mood to write so..

1. we got a B+. tsss. can't believe the last group got A. *well maybe cos they've elaborate costumes. their play's the lion king. do the math.
2. i didn't forget my lines and i didn't space out.
3. we were all good.
4. i'm sad cos its over.
5. i still have this crush on ceo. and i don't like the feeling. and i might not be able to see him ever again. :'(

p.s. our group wasn't really close, in fact, we just kinda screwed around practices then pretty much left without notices. so.. yeah. i don't mind, i think it was a great experience and with those people, it's better.

here are parts of the script:

scene 1:
Mrs. M: Visitors, always visitors, nothing but visitors all day long. I’m beginning to feel like a society matron.

Mrs. M: Tony! I thought you were on the province.

Tony: Is that you aling Atang?

Mrs. M: of course. It’s I, foolish boy. Why?

Tony: You don't look like Aling Atang.

Mrs. M: I had a hair cut. Think it's horrible?

Tony: Oh, no, no.. You look just wonderful. Aling Atang for a moment, I thought you were Kikay.

Mrs. M: Oh, you are so palikero as ever, Tony. But come in. Here, sit down. How is your mother?

Tony: Poor mother. She is homesick for Tondo. She wants to come back here at once.

scene away:
Kikay: You unspeakable cad!!

Nena: Hey, carefully there!! You’re speaking top of my fiancé..

Kikay: He’s not your fiancé!

Nena: Oh No!! And why not, huh!!??

Kikay: Because he was still engaged to me when he got engaged to you!

Nena: Well, he's not engaged to you anymore, you just said it yourself.

Kikay: Ah, but I didn’t know about all this..

here are some of our snapshots: *i wont reveal who ceo is.the set. som 203directorsactorskikay, mom and guestsproduction crewgroup BD: new yorker in tondo. i'll miss you all.

iwrite. iact.

NEWS FLASH (muna): I LOST MY EFFIN' PHONE BITCH. I COULDN'T HAVE LEFT MY BAG OPEN COS I COULD HAVE SWORN I CLOSED IT. WHEN I REALIZED IT WAS MISSING, I WAS IN SCHOOL NA AND A CONSTRUCTION WORKER IN ATENEO SAID, "maam nakita ko pong sinundan ka nung isang lalaki kanina." THERE.

URRGGH HIS SON BETTER BE DYING OF CANCER. DAMN. I DON'T LIKE TO CURSE PEOPLE BUT DAMN, I'VE SPENT A FORTUNE ON THAT PHONE AND SIM.

SO MUCH FOR RANTING. LET'S GET DOWN TO THE NILLY WILLY. :P

so i'm in a lit/ poetry class yeah? this summer. and i've been scribbling stuff since then. i've been playing with words and matching rhymes all over. err i wouldn't say they're any good, that's your cue. but yeah most of the poems that will follow have something to do with what we have been discussing in class. one actually earned me a star yay. and miss said i should have read it in class. wow. that would be the day. sweet sweet redemption. (for all my embarrassing moments in that class which i do not wanna talk about. they must think i'm a complete dork and dumbass. urgh.) anyway here:

1. summer 2009: this i wrote cos i was analyzing a poem for a class requirement and i couldn't hear myself think cos the rain was just raging. also, generally this summer, rain's been the common scenario and i dont like it a lot.

i dont wanna hear the rain
cos its gloomy and in pain
i feel its groans and aches
that fall with the sound it makes

i dont wanna see the rain
that splashes on streets of Maine
i cant look at them drop by drop
all of them hurry down then plop

i dont wanna smell the rain
cos its sad trickling on the pane
its oh so wet and stuffy
it makes my nose all runny

2. My Brain Tumor: this poem is a required one and i got the star on this one. it's a reflection on one class discussed poem "Slave Woman of Tarlac." i did it for like 5 minutes. wow. i didn't know i could still be praised for a poem ever in my life again. this really gave me time out from my chaotic life. i'm not that dumb. i can still create.

I look back to that sight
The horror, gloom and the fright
I doubt I’ll ever see the day,
When this fear will stop its play.

My mind it keeps the pictures flashing
Those times I feel the pain comes rushing
My screams they echo, though muffled
In my head, all sounds are jumbled.

I am numb; I feel nothing
I see my soul start rotting
Why should I even bother to resume living,
When I have to start from the beginning?

3. crime of passion: i wrote this on my sketch notebook when i was in trinoma sitting in a cafe and driving myself mad because it was one bullshit day. i was so mad at yz; i was so mad at myself i wanted to kill me. anyway.

i wish to claw my nails through your flesh
dig in your skin, exploit your insides, expose your stench
i want to see you bleed, sweat blood, pee blood
that way you want be able to call your god.

i'll laugh to the sight of your severed guts
your brain will drool of fluids that'll flow off your cuts
i'll dance with the maggots that will infest you
they'll crawl in between and over your goo
then maybe i'll pull and push back that dagger
slicing through your right eye after.

i'll yank your hairs one by one, crack your skull and without hesitations
play with your limbic system like you toyed with my emotions
lastly i will break your sternum and pull out your heart
squeeze it dry like you did mine when your goodbye tore it apart.

there. i'll probably have some more. when i find my inspiration. currently it seems to be gore. maybe sometime soon it'll be ceo. (he's a cute guy i have a crush on in my lit class. again. damn.) i'm acting with him in our group play. nuff said.

p.s. yes i act. this will be a first in so many years. and my lines aren't short!

fine. just one.

i've been killing myself this summer with readings and nonstop organizer updates basically things that aren't supposed to be, period. i used to have so many things i wanted to write about here but i just didn't have the time to do it that i forgot what they all were. yeah my mind's pretty much profit, total revenue, marginal utility plus sun yat sen, treaty on nanjing, caste system and the likes of just-place-a-bomb-in-my-head-and-wait-til-it-stops-ticking shit right now. see i can't even write properly. i'm not gonna tell you about what all my lessons are; i'm not gonna rant about my schedule; i'm not even gonna tell you how my grades are doing. i'm just gonna mope here and type, see what i can come up with while my brain is dead. **cricket** tumbleweed** whistle. yeah that's it.

it's gonna be like this for a long while, for the rest of this god-forsaken summer. damn it to hell. now that i think about it, there's nothing else to write about. it's all the same. my life is as monotonous as it gets right fucking here.

in other news: swine flu.
in more local news: we finally got the wifi working. yay. it works on yz' and my laptops. hurray. and we were actually almost gonna buy a router. tss.

now: my eyes are starting to droop. i have a lot more pages to go. so i'm gonna leave this here.
P.S. this may be my most useless blog entry so far. i think. :P