super! MCR!

p.s. that's a lame title but i don't care right now! i'm just so psyched! rarr! january 25, 2008 now that date i anticipated to be filled with screaming, singing and more screeaaming.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE comes to manila! yeah, and we've tickets for this shit for a long while now. we thought we'd get the silver ones way way ahead of time. so here's a preview.

leki and tix!

so yz, xinn, toby and i went to fort bonifacio open field in taguig around 6:30pm. (the show starts 8pm. but that's a lie. haha.) we were so ready with the cameras fully charged, our adrenaline all to the brim and our vocal chords madly mad! but when we got to the gate, they told us that we can't bring cameras and camcorders. dammit! what a bummer. so we had to go back to the car and leave stuff.

fast forward: we were seated and we barely see a thing. well we see small people up stage. haha. i don't have to tell you about my annoying seatmates who might be equally annoyed by our freakish conversations. haha.

and then it starts. weee! they were so, uh, there! at that spur of the moment, we were all singing our lungs out. there were this annoying ushers who kept telling us to come down from the chairs but we just cursed them and they all went away. beh! yada yada yada. singing. screaming. singing. yelling. OMG! that's all i can say, sorry. haha.


so after what i thought was the most glorious night ever in my life, i see more! i see, KJWAN! holy crap, how lucky can we get? what the f.ck! i know! this was my dialogue.

yz: oy, tara na. baba na kayo diyan sa upuan. (haha.)
lek: oo nga. tara na. (we all come down and walk towards the EXIT)
lek: ate? si jun. teka. ate, si jun! (get's louder) ahh, brian! kel! boogie! marc!
toby and xinn: kjwan!
yz: san si jor?
lek: ate!! lapitan natin! (can't help it, they were all alone!)
yz: ano ka ba makikita mo rin sila sa UP fair.
lek: ahhh! (and ate starts to walk out and well we follow her)

god, i can barely walk on a straight line dammit. i had to look back every three seconds fuck. and i kept yelling kjwan everytime i look back.we don't have cameras anyway so what the hell. i stopped by the exit staring at them and i suddenly had this urge to wave vigorously haha. to catch their attention maybe and i did. at least i think i did. marc waved back. on my direction! (but yeah, i'm not sure it was me he was waving back at. but hell whatever. i saw them!) anyway, there was the awesome night of january 25.

mcr's really really good. it really felt good. the screaming i mean. and the jumping.
after that we had stomped with pizza and pasta in PIZZA HUT Katipunan.

i screwed up.

january 23, 2008. the day i came to hate. yeah. i don't wanna go through the details because i clearly remember how it happened and i'm the only one who should actually care about it. i deleted all my pictures in my computer. accidentally. i feel like screaming my lungs out in matteo ricci that day. i felt soooo bad. i took self-pity when i began scavenging for posted pictures so i could retrieve even just half.

i didn't cry and no one knows and cares all in one. so. i am now in the process of recovering from the sudden event and still searching. for the photos that i lost.

somehow, i feel that god really does reciprocate equally in good and bad ways. today, i might have gotten a D or a C at the very most in the zoo lec quiz that i reviewed much for. it so happened that i didn't have that presence of mind while taking the exam. i was lost and i screwed it up. because most of the answers i know but i failed to realize that they were the answers so it's actually my fault. next time, i have to focus. please help god. i need to get back in the game. i wont let a few photos drag me down. thanks.

meh name.

You entered: Alexandra Yap De Los Santos

There are 23 letters in your name.
Those 23 letters total to 85
There are 9 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Swedish Female Defender of man.
Italian Female Defender of man.
Hungarian Female Defender of man.
Greek Female A feminine form of Alexander meaning defender of men, used in Britain since early 13th century; it became popular after the marriage of the 1863 marriage of future King Edward VII to Princess Alexandra of Denmark.
English Female Feminine of Alexander. Defender of mankind.

Your number is: 4

The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9

A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.

As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

i'm so screwed.

i just saw the uploaded answer key for our math long exam no. 2 and i know it, i ain't gettin' nothin'. yep, you heard it right. i sense a D or even an F but i'm not hoping for them. i want a C+ instead or a C i'll even feel good about i think or bear at least. i feel really bad because i reviewed a lot for that. it's just that i really don't get some of the items and i feel so bummed down. plus, i really was feeling awful while taking the test. my head hurt and i was half asleep. my left hand is all over my face and every ten minutes, i had to rub my head hard. nothing really was sure during that exam except i'm not gonna be pleased.

when i finally got out, i felt like i had to say something to my teacher while i was passing by her so i said, "bye, miss." what she said was, "review hard for the midterms, it's gonna be harder." as if the previous one didn't suck my spirit and drain my brain hard enough yet. she might as well just said, "people, you are so screwed and midterms is synonymous to hell so might as well die now, go ahead no one's stopping you." yep, i still have midterms on monday and i have to review. it so sucks but i really don't have a choice. i wanted to make up for this long exam so please god, help me. i need to hang on. so carry me. thanks. :)

i'm drugged.

yeah. i got dem sniffles and a terrible "happy new year" cough. and i don't mean because it's a newly opened year that's why i got it; i mean it sounds like firecrackers literally. it's like everytime i cough, people have enough reason to believe that a dog's barking for pete's sake. anyhow, i'm as pathetic as hell. my mom prescribed a bunch of meds and i had to write the dosage and time of intake on my math scratch paper because i had to remember them all. it's late and i'm still up, i have to review for an incoming exam in math and i have tons of other stuff to do. oh yeah, it's hell week alright. it's gonna be handy once this cough and sniffles have gone. i'm just soo glad that i don't have fever. please god no. :)

stuff that bug me.

and people who bug me for that matter are in this post. i may not mention them all here now, i might forget some or might even let some pass however only two things're sure... 1. they bug me because i'd like to think they do and 2. i think they do for no reason at all. p.s. they are not be in order.

* people who write their names in every paper, armchair, wall, body they see. - what the fuck? i'd like to see genuine graffiti if you don't mind not your insufferable names.
* people who vandalize grammatically incorrect statements. - duh?
* pigs that are thin and are not pink. - you are vermin, i tell you! vermin!
* people who talk too much - don't you just wanna strangle them with their tongues? ^sheepish grin.
* sean kingston - what the fuck kind of song is that dammit!
* people who use text messages as YM status messages. -they're text messages not status messages lame-o.
* people who read amoeba as ameba, carrot as kerot, candle as kendal, turtle as tartal, one fourth sheet as wamportshit, girlfriend as gerlprend, apple as epol etc. - what the hell?
* drivers who ask for more than the original fare - pakain ko kaya sayo 'yang sasakyan mo?
* people who wear shades where it is not necessary, ya know for kicks -whoah where's the sun?
* people who don't respond to "excuse me, padaan" but respond to your 132nd "exxcuuuuusseee meeee, padaannnnn!!" - i wanna push them off a cliff.
* professors who give homeworks that eat you. - maybe i should eat them before they could give more homework.
* kokey - i can't get over his face! i hear the word hate and i see him!
* people who say "like" more that 2469 times in one sentence. - "oh my god, he's like so the hottest guy in like the whole like universe and like i think he like likes me or something like that and if i like talk to him he like can't look at me because i'm like so totally gorgeous"
p.s. you like to be like rizal? you know, like dead. haha.
* people who think they're mean but no they're not. - don't think that! you're not!
* posers. - go home, losers.
* people who were too much make up. - what the fuck are you hiding, you're entire face?
* emo - shut the hell up. die if you must.
* silky (this indian dancer who thinks he's popular. see MTV) - go to hell, stinky!
* schoolwork - who isn't bugged?
* raffles. - i never win not that i ever join though. haha.
* so many stairs. - what the hell, i'm tired lunatic!
*
*
*
*

no more. can't think. exhausted. can't finish ^breathe first^ sentence anymore. haha. next time. me meany. i know.

some of these you may not approve to but what the heck, leave my butt alone and shut up. yeah you better! ha!

math murders!

or not. maybe it's just me. i hate it sooo much. i tried to love it and i did then i hated it again then i loved it and so on. with my sudden changes of heart, i have derived a conclusion that it is all about the manner and the person. when you like the manner math is taught but you hate the person teaching, learning is futile. same way goes with it's reverse. i can't say i've totally given up on math because my heart is still soo widely opened if in case it might wanna love me back by any chance.

but as of now, it pisses me off. if i had a peso for everytime i say "i hate math" this semester, i'd be so freakin' rich as bill gates himself. i'm exaggerating of course. but you get my point, i hate it this sem. i tremble every monday, wednesday and friday morning all the way til i get to class up to the end of the period because i so am dead sure i will fail in the given homework that i have been solving for five hours or more the previous day. i can't sit still in quizzes and long exams because i am still freakin' sure that i'd never get a perfect score. yeah, i feel bad for that.

i also realized that staring on a blank sheet of paper or a paper with shit solutions on it wont do the trick neither will five hours or more solving. so technically there is no trick really, it's just so damned. haha.

Dicta Freak

license revoked

another post for dicta license and with the same broken heart and the same heavy feelings. but this one's on myx. yeah, it's their article. manager raymund fabul bares the full details in the break up.

preview: but is it really the end for dicta license?
raymund: i hope not. for now it is. you never know. the doors are open in the future. i'm sure a lot of people will be excited to see them play together again. it's a nice prospect, but we know don't know how long that will be if it happens. if it doesn't, we have our memories and we have their songs.

if you can't read the thing, click on this:

http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/9904 /myxmagqw3.jpg

but it's gonna be the same thing.

burn in hell, burn magazine!

i have no money. literally. i am poor this week. literally. but one thing made me happy--- the site of a burn magazine with a couple of music artists on cover. i immediately saw marc abaya and i didn't bother to actually figure out what was inside. i was just sooo sure that kjwan or at least marc will get a pretty long interview and a lot of pictures. so even if the magazine cost me much, what the heck i want it! (this is what happens when i am blinded.)

i had tons of schoolwork ahead that night but i just had to look at the magazine first--- ya know maybe just a quick peep. and so...


(left to right) marc, kamikazee shitboy, jor, kamikazee shitboy, kel, boogie, kamikazee shitboy, jay. (above) leki(saying): what the eff? my jun jun is not here! god dammit! what the hell? kjwan is not kjwan without him!

yep. i was enraged last night. fuckin' burn magazine shot stuff without kjwan's drummer jhoon. i hate! plus, this is the only page where kjwan is featured and the text is like a paragraph short! what the hell? you freaks!

peyups: isang daang taon!

oo. isang daang mahahabang taon. noong malaman kong 2008 ang pang isandaang taon ng UP diliman noong ako'y nasa highschool pa lamang sinabi ko nang, "doon ako mag-aaral, para memorable ang first year." pero yun nga, hindi malinaw ang pagkakapasa ko roon. may mga kulang na requirements. hay. ganoon talaga. minsan talaga hindi mo makikita ang nasa harapan mo na. napaaral tuloy ako sa ateneo. ngunit tama na yan, may ibang kwento sa post na ito.

ang ruta kong nakasanayan ay laging dumadaan sa loob ng UP. kahapon, may nakita akong malaking placard na may nakalagay na, "ACADEMIC OVAL. JANUARY 8, 2007. CLOSED TO TRAFFIC" saka ko na lamang nalaman na magsisimula na pala ang kasiyahan. hay. sana pwede lang iwanan lahat ng trabaho sa eskwela at magsaya 'no? kaninang pagkarating ko roon pauwi, lahat na ng mga kalsada sarado at kung anu-ano nang ruta ang kinukuha ng mga dyip at kung saan na lamang makalusot ay ayos na. hala. nagkalat ang mga SSB, mga karaniwang tao lalo na ang mga batang naka-uniporme pa nga. maraming nakaparadang mga sasakyan, punung puno ang mga parking. nakalabas na ako ng unibersidad bago ko pa malaman kung ano nga ba ang mangyayari. hindi ko naman balak alamin talaga.

hindi ko matiyak ang araw o mga araw kung kailan nga ang UP Fair pero may malaking pakiramdam ako na malapit na. (duh?) sa mga araw at gabing iyon sana makapagsaya naman ako. gusto kong maranasan ang hindi ko dapat palampasin na mga raid parties. :)

siya nga pala, gusto kong matulog doon kung maraming banda. haha.

i want kjwan! dammit.

i don't know what has gotten into me lately but i think i've grown mad! crappy crappy! har! i hate it but i love it. i want kjwan! i wake up to "where's kjwan?", i sleep to "haah kjwan, when're you getting in my life!" i hate it that i can't get what i want kjwan but i can't just get them. i ennnnvvvyy the people who get great pictures with them because they are friends with jor or marc or kel or boogie or jun. i hate it i hate it! this is pretty much a hate blog entry. i hate it that i can't get them. urgh! kjwan! i waaaaannnntt!! aaahh!! i'm mad! i'm a freak! i'm possessed! lalalala i don't hear anything! aah!!

kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan! kjwan!

hiten mitsurugi rawr!

batusai!

cory and kenshin

kenshin himura

i saw samurai x today on studio 23 and boy did i miss that show. weird thing is i was never a fan of anime but this one me likey. i used to really wait for it day after day after day just until saturdays though.

story goes, as i understand it haha, a batusai slasher (killer, murderer, slayer) kenshin himura was once a government assassin but decides to do good by saving other people and living with a bunch o' people who actually become his friends. it's a cool series. :)

sniff sniff

the audio clip above contains the last words of dicta license when they disbanded. listen to it. there's nothing fancy or too emotional about it but it just makes me feel torn. i suddenly posted the clip here because if you notice in the lower bunk on the right side of this site where BANDANATION is displayed as a title of the list of the bands i like--- go ahead scroll down. five four three two one. some of the names have highlights or are differently colored. it's because they are hyperlinked to each band's respective websites. those that are not linked to anything are those which i can't find websites to put YET.

anyway, i was having fun clicking on the links and they really go to the sites when i came to click in dicta license's supposed to be site, IT WAS NO LONGER THERE. :(
plus, the groups that i have joined, YAHOO GROUP, MULTIPLY etc that bear their name are already dormant for months but i am still hesitating on quitting those groups or not. i'm not hoping that they be back on track because there is no hope in that. fuck it.

dammit i miss them. i remembered those days when i used to surf the net, check their site just so i could be updated with schedules and events. hmp. i feel so sad like i could cry already for people i never actually met in person! it's pathetic but what the heck, they game me my music, i owe stuff and appreciation to them. i even have an unfinished song for them darn it! oh well, it isn't so then that all's well that ends well. :(

i'm back!

it's been 13 days and i haven't posted anything. yeah 13 days i counted with my fingers and i was saying the days aloud--- 20! 21! 22! 23! onwards. to make up for those days, i shall try to remember the stuff that i got into during those days and list them here. here goes:

1. i went home immediately.
2. we road on a cab with a horrible driver on our way to the bus terminal.
3. we were early for the first time!
4. i saw chrysthmae and shalihar. we were on the same bus. (awful names)
5. it was the first time i rode in front in so many years.
6. we got to tuguegarao.
7. i slept a lot.
8. we ate jollibee a lot!
9. we went to brickstone many times to buy a lot of stuff.
10. i want kjwan!
11. i never drank during the vacation.
12. food sucked during noche buena.
13. my relatives suck.
14. i received a big teddy bear.
15. i cleaned my previous room. yey!
16. we watched a lot of MYXMO 2007, MTV MUSIC SUMMIT 2007, and NU ROCK AWARDS 2007!
17. i hardly touched a connected computer.
18. we played a lot of pictionary.
19. i learned how to finish a rubics cube.
20. we went up to chunglay's mountain.
21. i missed homecoming for no reason at all. haha.
22. i never finished any of my homework while i was in tuguegarao. bwahaha.
23. and i'm not yet done!
24. i missed my guitar too much that i have blisters because i played too much the minute i found it.
25. we didn't watch any dvds because ate left them in manila. boo!
26. jebas chavez escariot was made.
27. i enjoyed new year!
28. i have no new year's resolution.
29. i replied only to the people i liked to reply to. sshhh.
30. i think the break's too short. toink!